I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
