there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
