my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
