What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
