well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
