Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
