Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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