she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
