Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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