Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
