i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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