i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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