Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
