You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
