He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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