R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize