I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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