When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize