I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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