Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
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