Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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