i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
