i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
