Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
