Are we in a gay sports bar?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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