I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Alive.
So much puke
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
