You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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