it was like his penis was on wheels.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
There's always time for handjobs
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
