epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
It's just like the Real World with babies
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
