Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
