I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
