He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
