She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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