I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
The Olympian is in my bed
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
