puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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