ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
My ass is underappreciated
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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