Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
