Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
is it fun? or sober?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
