he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
