and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
