guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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