I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
