He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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