I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
soo... how was my night?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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