U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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