woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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