He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
