hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
We need to get me chipped asap
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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