Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
you had me at cake vodka
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
