her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
