im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
