A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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