If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Can't talk, ducks in the car
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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