It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
