Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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