I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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