office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
