I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Randomize
