i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
