I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
