i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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