toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize