Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
