Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
