i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
