Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
