So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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