Can Purell be used as lube?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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