the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
