is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
did i just pee glitter
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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