you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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