i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Randomize
